No.1 The Old Fart’s Waftnot Muffler cushion cover
The perfect gender-neutral gift for panty-burpers and trouser-gurglers!
This vintage-style cushion cover is ready for stuffing to help overcome the social embarrassment of being heard letting one off – particularly after over-indulging in some traditional Christmas seasonal delicacy such as turkey vindaloo.
Production of the original well-stuffed plumped-up WAFTNOT MUFFLER fart-absorbing cushion ceased in the 1950s. It was discovered that the secret ingredient of the filling was asbestos, which was being released into the atmosphere whenever anyone blew off on a sofa or armchair. This led to a ban because of the health risks to TV viewers, who were rapidly increasing in number, turning into couch potatoes and being blighted by involuntary particle acceleration..
However, with the arrival of the 1960s the fashion for using vintage adverts and graphic design on decorative items blossomed and the original WAFTNOT MUFFLER cushion cover found new admirers amongst trendy designers. The original insert may have been consigned to the dustbin of history but the outer cover now lived on, reinvigorated by the demand for amusing lifestyle products.
The appeal of the zipped cover has proved to be enduring and production of the much-loved vintage-style cotton cover continues today, with users being recommended to stuff it as they see fit.
£15.99 + p&p
Click HERE to buy
No.2 The Old Fart’s cocoa mug
It’s true: old farts never die, they just fade away – but their memory lingers on behind them…
This memorial mug is finished in a fusty beige, so redolent of all that sphincter coughing whose passing is seen being toasted here by a group of cheerful old Dickensian trouser-whistlers.
Here is the perfect humorous gift for the old fart(s) in your life. You can imagine their pleasure at receiving this wonderful reminder of what they’ll leave behind!
Created in a fresh, gleaming white ceramic overlaid with cocoa brown, this mug is dishwasher and microwave safe and with its weighty 11oz capacity will prove resistant to being blown over even on the windiest of days.
£8.99 + p&p
Click HERE to buy
No.3 The Old Fart’s Dick pic
This charming educational nursery-style print offers opportunities for the explanation of the basic principles of sexual hygiene AND for the phenomenon of frequent farting by the elderly. It is the purported reproduction of a page from a never-published Victorian children’s ABC book. In the case of “D is for Dick” it manages to squeeze four double-meaning jokes into just three lines, making it ideal for a she-shed or man cave and a real value for money Christmas present! It is the perfect illustration for the grown-up modern home.
Coming soon: “F is for Fanny”.
This ready-to-hang art print is printed on a natural, sustainable and environmentally friendly paper made from 90% bamboo fibres and 10% cotton, which offers warm tones without optical brighteners, while the solid wooden 25mm matt black frame comes with 2mm glass )acrylic), an MDF backing board and hanging fixings.
£27.50 post free
Click HERE to buy
No.4 Made for The Old Fart’s convenience
Give the gift of a laugh in the loo!
Visitors to the smallest room will be entertained by this fascinating item of ready-to-hang antique-style lavatory wall art.
This amusing framed print features a facsimile of a page of advertisements from “The Jocular Troper Quarterly” of Spring 1899 (published 1 April of that year) and has been produced with the discerning loo owner – and user – in mind.
And now for the technical stuff…
Printed on a natural, sustainable and environmentally friendly paper made from 90% bamboo fibres and 10% cotton, which offers warm tones without optical brighteners (which are not generally required in the average domestic w.c.).
The paper is acid and Lignin-free, which meets the requirements of an age resistant paper and is printed on pre-cut sheets using an inkjet, 12-colour Giclée print process, providing in-depth reproduction of colours and fine details (perfect for the lighting in most household toilets).
Conforms to ISO 9706 to offer museum quality for the highest age resistance (making it suitable for old farts).
And the wooden frame details:
– 25mm smooth matt black frame
– 2mm glass (acrylic) with an MDF backing board
– Frame manufactured from high quality solid wood
– Sized perfectly for A4
– Frame comes complete with hanging fixings
£27.50 post free
Click HERE to buy
No.5 Old Farts strike a light!
Choose this Victorian-style fart joke to gift someone a laugh in the loo!
This unashamed ready-to-hang lavatory wall art is guaranteed to entertain visitors to the smallest room.
In this case, it’s a framed print featuring a facsimile of an advertisement from “The Jocular Troper Quarterly” of Spring 1899 (published 1 April of that year).
And now for the technical stuff…
Printed on a natural, sustainable and environmentally friendly paper made from 90% bamboo fibres and 10% cotton, which offers warm tones without optical brighteners (which are not generally required in the average domestic wc).
The paper is acid and Lignin-free, which meets the requirements of an age resistant paper and is printed on pre-cut sheets using an inkjet, 12-colour Giclée print process, providing in-depth reproduction of colours and fine details (perfect for the lighting in most household toilets).
Conforms to ISO 9706 to offer museum quality for the highest age resistance (making it suitable for old farts).
And the wooden frame details:
– 25mm smooth matt black frame
– 2mm glass (acrylic) with an MDF backing board
– Frame manufactured from high quality solid wood
– Sized perfectly for A4
– Frame comes complete with hanging fixings