Speech bubble graphics on the fart fetish experience
‘Eee, tha’s a reet gradly guff tha!’
writes A Yorkshire Eproctophiliac
As we say in Yorkshire, there’s nowt so queer as folk! Some are sexually aroused by guffin’, while others find fartin’ in t’bedroom mingin’.
T’ Yorkshire word for bein’ turned on by farts is eproctophilia, which is a sub-type of olfactophilia. In plain English, it’s a fart fetish – with a probable favourin’ of goffs [smell] over sounds. Sometimes it goes t’other way.
I’m a no-nonsense tyke who enjoys some reet good guffin’ mi’sen but tha mun think on. If in doubt do nowt. Wi’ a new sexual partner I would allus take my weight on my elbows and ask before lettin’ one off. If she says, “Fill thi booits, lad”, I’ll be well chuffed. If not, I’ll put wood in t ‘ole.
Let a fart out uninvited and tha’ll find for thissen it’s a reet friggin’ passion-killer! Unless t’ all-clear has been given, flatus should be ‘eld back durin’ and immediately after shaggin’. Do not expect a shout of “Eee, tha’s a reet gradly guff tha! That were champion!” for an unexpected fart in a partner’s lug ‘ole.
Accidental blowin’ off tis reet risky during foreplay (and post-coital). I allus tell mi’sen, “Ey up, lad or it’ll be ‘Tarra’ afore you get what tha came for!”
If you can’t hang on to your fart, do summat. Tha can allus make excuse and get out of room quick to leave it somewhere else. If asked, “Where’s tha gooin’? “reply, “Yonderly” (this is more romantic than, “I’m off t’bog”).
Si’thee!