Award-winning graphic designer Afaik Yolo has come up with the perfect birthday greetings card for elderly men who can no longer get to grips with what’s passed.
“The anal sphincter weakens. It’s the passage of time. Hence the phenomenon of frequent farting among older men, particularly when they bend their knees. This explains how they come to be characterised as ‘old farts’. However, they’re just like the rest of us – except that they’re old, their knees ache and they suffer seriously diminished flatulence-retention capabilities,” said Yolo.
“I wanted to design a card that acknowledged their basic human need to happily just ‘blow out candles’ but which also normalised their ineffective weak anal sphincters in a non-judgemental way. My card design wishes them ‘happy returns’ and excuses their wayward farting by displacing it on to the presumed presence of a whoopee cushion,” he explained.
Next on Yolo’s “to do” list is a card aimed at farty old ladies.
“It’s not only men who are old farts, but there is also a differentiation within the genders. There are undoubtedly more male old farts than female ones but the anecdotal evidence is that old women who have experienced multiple vaginal deliveries are significantly more flatulent than their childless peers or those who have had caesareans. I think this should be properly researched in order to establish a base line before the onward march of unisex toilets muddies the water.
“I now intend to continue to increase flatulence-themed celebratory card volumes by associating the joys of parenthood with looser geriatric maternal anal sphincters in another socially acceptable ‘barfday’ card,” said Yolo.
Do you want to get a birthday card for an old fart?
The Steam Donkey Gallery’s original A5-size (148.5 x 210mm) celebratory cards cost £3.49 each plus £1.10 for Royal Mail first class postage. The inside is left blank for you to write your own message. Your chosen card can be sent to you with an extra envelope for you to address or it can be sent directly to your ‘old fart’ with a personalised message (you just tell us what you want to say). For more details and to buy this card, please click HERE.