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How to find the right words for gender neutral farting

Victorian engraving of adult speaking to small boy. Adult has beard and is dressed as a man and is identified as the boy's mother. She explains non-binary ways of describing farting.

Readers’ Queries: Ask Dr Oracle

I am a student of journalism and my sub-editing lecturer has declared that it is not OK to use the binary word “manhole”. She says that “personhole” is the acceptable gender-neutral alternative. I am uncertain about this and would be grateful for your opinion.

First, thank you for asking.

Secondly, let us begin by considering a definition of the word “manhole”. Wikipedia will serve our purpose here. It says that “a manhole is an opening to a confined space such as a shaft…[they] are often used as an access point “.

The use of “personhole” will inevitably lead to readers confusing cast-iron lids in paved areas with individual sexual preferences.  Furthermore, the word will undoubtedly provoke flippancy with the supplementary question, “Which one? Oral, anal or vaginal?”

My understanding is that the main task of sub-editors is to “cut it short” while retaining meaning. On that basis, to make “personhole” a portmanteau word is asking it to carry too great a load.

A brief look at a diagram of typical male and female anatomies should, I would suggest, provide enough established terminology to identify the “hole” being referred to as a “personhole”.

I appreciate that that still leaves us with the problem of finding an unambiguous alternative to the word “manhole” where it refers to a pavement-level access point.

This is one of those questions where you can very easily find yourself in a hole! I will say no more.

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Published inFlatulistings